It's funny how things happen. Being pregnant was something I had put out of my mind, now a few months back we were "trying", it didn't happen and I was fine with it. I had put it out of my mind, along with weird cycles I didn't think I would get pregnant. And I was finally coming to terms with only having three children. I think it has all come down to stress. Stress of our current living situation, stress from work, etc... Before moving in with the inlaws my cycle was regular and lasted 5-7 days, came ontime every month. Caught some stress from a certain person and I think that helped my cycle by not coming. So now that stress is becoming relived, I think it straightened things out.
I feel strange that I'm pregnant. I feel happy and a little sad. When I got pregnant with Lexi I was so happy, it was a wonderful 9 months. It was great having a baby, she was a great baby too, slept through the night and was my little best friend. Then after a while we wanted another baby and I got pregnant with Mikey, after he was born I remember feeling so happy but also so horrible that I took something away from Lexi. It was strange having a new little life to take care of, plus my almost 2 year old. She was happy with having a baby brother and I don't know why I had those silly thoughts that she would hate me because I had a sibling for her. Fast forward to when Kaylee was born and again I had the same feelings I had after I gave birth to Mikey. I felt like I took something away from my other two children when I gave birth to Kaylee. I don't know why I had those feelings and I really don't look forward to it again.
Like I said before I was beginning to be happy that we only had 3 children, don't take it wrong, I do want another baby and I do have one on the way. But when I gave up I had finally decided that I would be working full time in August when all the kids go to school. We would have more money and more family time together. I guess I can still try to achieve that but it will involve daycare and so long as its affordable I may choose that route or have to wait a few years. Either way I will be fine with it, I'm looking forward to which ever outcome comes my way.
And yes I'm excited #4 will be joining our family and I know everyone is happy for us.
So other than having major indigestion already, I've started having vivid dreams already. Last night I dreamt that I had twins or at least I was taking care of my sisters twins, it was a really cute dream. And no I DO NOT want twins!!! Only one please although I know its possible but I would really rather it didn't happen. That would be really crazy.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Funny How
Posted by momma24/7 at 7:47 AM
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